How do I tell them? How do I tell them??
Cody could think of nothing else. How the Hell was he supposed to tell his uber Catholic parents of his sexuality? How many times had he been lectured about good and evil: moral and immoral: Heaven and Hell? How many times had he heard his parents going on and on about how gay marriage was an 'abomination' and how all homosexuals would 'burn in Hell'? Of course, Cody had never quite agreed with the extremity of it all. He'd just smile politely and shrug if they ever asked his opinion.
But now his opinion was going to become all too clear, and he wasn't sure how they'd take it. His mother would no doubt be upset that her son wouldn't be able to join her in His Kingdom and beg him to reconsider. His father, however… Anger? Definitely. Violence? Well, whilst Cody doubted that there was a bit of him that wasn't sure.
Shit. Oh shit. What should he do?
Then he felt his mobile buzz – the warning that his stupid ringtone would appear moments later; no doubt loud enough to wake the entire house. He swore and snatched it out of his pocket, flipping it on with little more than a second to spare.
"Hello?" he ventured.
"Ah! You're awake. Hi, Cody – it's Noah," the other end replied.
Cody could feel his worry starting to abate a little. Noah would know what to do. "Can I ask-"
"Look I have to be quick, I'm meant to be looking after Darla – she just woke up. You know that I left that book at yours? Could you drop it round tomorrow please?"
"Yeah, sure. Look I want to-"
"Thanks a bunch. Bye!"
And he rang off, just like that. Cody groaned and sat down at the kitchen table. At this time of night – or should that be morning? – it was pretty dark. The moon cast just enough light to reach through the curtains, bathing the room in a blue glow, intensifying the dark circles on Cody's pale face and illuminating his waxen skin. He didn't pick up on any of this, though – his mind was in a thousand different places but not one portion of it was there.
There was the section considering waking his parents up now and telling them. Then he also wondered if he should wait until morning. Then again, should he ever tell them? He and Noah had agreed not to unless it was absolutely necessary and he should stick to that, right? But… He felt so guilty hiding secrets from them. And he was their son, so surely they should love him no matter what?
He looked to the clock above the cooker and strained to see the time. After a moment, he made it out to be just past 2. He sighed unhappily. He'd be a wreck in the morning no matter what he did. But at this rate he was never going to make any decisions.
He yawned, suddenly tired. I'll just lay my head down for a moment, and then I'll decide what to do once and for all…
When he woke up, it was much lighter, but still not light enough for morning. He looked up at the clock. Nearly 5. Right.
In his dopey, sleep-deprived delusion, he actually thought that waking up his parents to tell them would be a good idea.
He shook awake his mother first, then his father, and made them follow him down to the kitchen. His dad was in a bad enough mood as it was, being woken up at this 'ungodly hour!' and his mother was barely awake.
Maybe that was a good thing.
"Son, what's this about?" his dad asked.
Cody's heart was pounding so much that his shirt was shaking and trembling as much as he was. He could feel little beads of sweat melting into his hair and his breathing was becoming uneven.
"Mom, Dad, I'm gay,"
For a moment he was relieved, the feeling of guilt churning about inside of him was finally starting to wane.
Then he saw their faces, and all relief disappeared.